So far all the other times that I had sat down to write, was when I was feeling miserable or totally struck down! But today is one of the days when I am not really feeling any of those!
After so many years of life on earth... and must I say... what a life so far....I still feel... incomplete...lost ?!
I had given up on love after so many heart breaks and after crushing one too many too!
But somewhere deep down I realized I hadn’t really! I still went back to finding it after it tore me apart, broke me down and crushed me! Some were nasty, some foolish and some ridiculous! And mind you, every time I thought it was love! But this time I am hoping, it truly is! I am hoping it is the kind, that if not more, at least lasts a lifetime!
Because in that love, I have felt complete in many ways! Some moments where I have laughed my heart out, in some where I have cried my eyes out, in some wrestled my way out! But every moment with him has only left me wanting to experience a little more!
I don’t know if it is love! I don’t know if love really exists! But if it does ... I want to experience it, truly! I want to look into those eyes and feel wanted! I want to have those arms around me and feel cared! I want to know I am loved!
I am asked, if I will ever learn from my mistakes! If I will, maybe, stop acting from my heart and listen to the head once because so far my heart has not really given me a “happy life”!
But I just smile and say, maybe NEVER! Because in this crazy stupid heart, I still have hope!
SK
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